What’s wrong with this picture?

I love pubs.

No, really, I do. I know that may seem like a silly statement to make (let’s face it, if I didn’t love them, I’ve probably just made a very stupid career choice!) but as a customer, for me there’s always been something inherently relaxing and comforting about stepping into a pub. Admittedly not all pubs will suit all of the people all of the time – and occasionally the dubious looking regulars, the choice of drinks or the surly looking person behind the bar will make you turn tail as fast as your legs will carry you; but most of the time, you choose the correct pub for your mood. And having chosen the pub correctly, little things like waiting to be served for 5 minutes, not having the exact drink that you want available, or finding the music too loud for your liking become less important than they usually would do, don’t they?

Yeah, right! No matter how much pride a pub takes in getting everything right, in the eyes of many customers there will frequently be something amiss. I’m not going to try and make excuses for things that are found to be lacking all the time in every pub, but having recently made the step across the bar, I wanted to offer a few examples of why sometimes, seemingly nonsensical happenings might just have some rhyme and reason behind them. Here I’ll cover just 2 examples, with more to come in future.

#1 “It’s Friday night, I’ve been waiting 5 minutes, and one of you is emptying the glass washer instead of serving?” Unforgiveable, right? Well...not necessarily. Yes, it’s annoying – I’ve been there myself – but think how disappointing it is to get a nice, crisp, cold and refreshing drink...served in a warm glass. Or to order a pint of real ale, and to get it served in a branded lager glass that doesn’t keep the head or conditioning. Pubs rarely have the space or luxury of being able to keep a whole night’s supply of glasses to suit everyone’s needs, so that 3 minute break in serving might actually work to your advantage. Honestly.

#2 “Would it be easier for you tell me what you do have in stock?” We once went to a pub where they’d run out of cask ale – so I asked for cider, which they’d also run out of. I settled for a G&T (“we’ve only got slimline”) and a pack of crisps (“no cheese and onion – we’ve only got salt and vinegar”). A friend walked in later only to be told “I can’t give you change for a fiver – have you got the right money?”. This sort of thing is enough to try the patience of the saintliest of saints. But in less extreme cases, when a pub has run out of a particular drink that you want, it’s worth bearing in mind that pubs are part of a supply chain. They may have been let down by their supplier, who may in turn have been let down by their own. And if your tipple of choice is a cask ale, the story gets a little more complex – as a living product, it’s subject to the same fickle behaviours as the rest of us. You can order and plan for a week’s supply of beer to be sat in the cellar ready and waiting, but every now and again a cask won’t settle in time – and no pub worth its salt will knowingly serve you that. Worse, casks can occasionally leak, leaving you with a gap before a replacement is ready. At The Harlequin, we’re lucky enough to have room for at least 10 real ales on the bar, and 40 stillages in the cellar, so it’s unlikely that we’ll ever run out completely! But it’s worth bearing in mind that some things really are out of the control of the pub.

So – what are your own personal frustrations? Let me know, and in future posts I’ll try to offer some thoughts from the other side.

As an aside, the funniest reaction I’ve ever seen from a customer whose favourite tipple had run out was at a beer festival rather than a pub, when a grown man threw a proper two-year old tantrum – shaking fists, screwed up eyes, stamping feet, the works. Entertaining, yes; but stropping doesn’t make something magically appear on the bar...or help you get served again that evening J